When resistance to commitment reaches the point of irrationality, it is clinically classified as Gamophobia. Opposition to commitment to that degree is associated with long-term relationships, namely marriage, and other significant undertakings, like a career. The problem can trickle down to an aversion to less substantial things, like a willingness to put things on a calendar. These people make regular use of words like “might,” “probably” and “if nothing comes up.”
It makes sense that mental health sources say that anxiety related to fear of commitment can lead to feelings of isolation, loneliness and depression. That, in turn, leads to a lack of fulfillment in life. Predictably, psychology professionals attribute the condition to any number of past experiences, however, there is another cause of a resistance to commit—selfishness.
When a person makes a commitment he has, to a limited extent, yielded control. Regardless of the benefits derived from gaining a spouse, raising children or securing a guaranteed source of income, there is a sacrificial obligation associated with marriage, having children or investing into a career. This principle is why some people are even reluctant to say, “Yes, I will be there on Tuesday at noon.” A commitment has been made to another person and he no longer retains flexibility over that time.
Commitment inherently involves self-sacrifice. It is a bond between the two which may necessitate saying no to things that would break the agreement. “Sorry, I can’t accept your offer to take me to lunch because I have a commitment on Tuesday.”
You may not have thought of it in this way, but faith is, essentially, a commitment. Regarding Abraham’s full commitment of his son to God, Hebrews 11:19 reads, “He considered that God was able even to raise him from the dead, from which, figuratively speaking, he did receive him back.” Even though God stopped Abraham from carrying the deed out, he was so given to doing what God told him to do (in faith) that when stopped, it was like he actually received Isaac back! Building the ark, hiding the spies, sending baby Moses down the river—all the men and women credited with great faith in Hebrews 11 acted with unmitigated commitment. Of Caleb it is written, “Because he has a different spirit and has followed me fully, I will bring into the land” (Num. 14:24).
If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. For that person must not suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways. (Jas. 1:5–8)
To ask for something “in faith” is to subtract doubt. It is asking with a spirit of absolute devotion. To do otherwise is to be wishy-washy and surrenders to an attitude of “might,” “probably” or “if nothing comes up.” Where the so-called “prosperity gospel” gets it wrong is by putting faith (fully committing) into the request itself. It encourages the requestor to “really want it.” However, biblical commitment is not in the request, but in the God from whom “every good gift and every perfect gift” comes (Jas. 1:17). When it says, “The righteous shall live by faith,” the Bible is indicating that you can live an unreservedly committed life in Christ.
A life of faith is a life that is first and foremost fully obligated to God. If something comes up that would interfere with that bond, then the answer is no, regardless of how it may appear to benefit you. A failure to commit to God in this way is then a lack of faith. To gauge your faith, reflect on your willingness to commitment to the Lord. Could you be diagnosed with spiritual Gamophobia?
Try using a committed-oriented vocabulary in your prayers. “Lord, when You provide a husband, I am entirely committed to Your choice.” “Father, it is our desire that this medical diagnosis would change, but whatever You decide, we accept it without wavering.” “God, I am willing to do the work You want me to do and willing to go where You want me to go without reservation. I unconditionally commit to You and the entirety of Your will. Forgive my doubts and accept my words of commitment.”
Commit your way to the LORD; trust in Him, and He will act. He will bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday. (Ps. 37:5–6)