According to a Pew Research Center poll, anxiety and depression, drug and alcohol addiction, pregnancy and gang affiliation among teenagers can be attributed to “major” peer pressure. Young people can be subjected to intense pressure to make extremely poor decisions. While generally associated with teens, peer groups have differing levels of influence on pretty much everyone at every age.
If you visit a college campus you’ll notice how similarly thousands of students dress. Co-workers regulate how and when it’s acceptable to speak in the office. As you travel rural America it’s easy to identify the preferred pickup truck manufacturer of local ranchers. Likewise, hobbies spread quickly through the persuasiveness of friends.
The point is that we are social creatures. We are, by nature, influenced by those with whom we spend time. There are plenty of internet articles that talk about changing your peer group if you want to get ahead in life, but there is a much better reason you should consider carefully who gets your time. That reason is your spiritual health. The Bible repeatedly points to the adverse consequences of logging time with unbelievers.
Make no friendship with a man given to anger, nor go with a wrathful man, lest you learn his ways and entangle yourself in a snare. (Prov. 22:24–25)
Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.” (1 Cor. 15:33)
Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm. (Prov. 13:20)
One of the more significant blemishes in the drama of King David’s family is that of his son Amnon. From a distance he “loved” his half-sister, Tamar, to the point of making himself ill. Doubtless, the lust he harbored in his heart was sinful, but to that point he had not acted on his wicked passions. What happened next is recorded in 2 Samuel 13:3. “But Amnon had a friend, whose name was Jonadab, the son of Shimeah, David’s brother. And Jonadab was a very crafty man.” After learning of Amnon’s desire for Tamar, his “friend” outlined a plan that would create an opportunity for Amnon to sexually assault her. And he did.
Amnon’s shameful actions led to David sinning by failing to address his son’s misconduct. David’s exercise of willful ignorance then resulted in another son carrying out a plot to murder Amnon. Each man was responsible for his own sins, however, the first domino of this sordid series of violent offenses was tapped by a “crafty friend.” It is a compelling illustration of how, with nothing more than a few words, a companion can persuade someone to commit a sin of horrific proportions.
In the list of poor decisions by Amnon, one of them was his choice of friends. Could this be said of you? Do you choose to spend time around people that do not encourage God-honoring behavior? Are you in “iron sharpening iron” relationships or do they have a blunting effect on your spiritual life? If you heard a convicting, biblical message would you share that experience with the people you name as friends, or would that seem out of place?
Perhaps there’s cause to reevaluate who receives your attention so you can say with the psalmist, “I am a companion of all who fear You, of those who keep Your precepts” (Ps. 119:63). Committing time to godly relationships does more than just reduce your exposure to bad influences. Note the positive, compounding effect of being among Christians.
Then those who feared the LORD spoke with one another. The LORD paid attention and heard them, and a book of remembrance was written before him of those who feared the LORD and esteemed his name. “They shall be mine, says the LORD of hosts, in the day when I make up my treasured possession, and I will spare them as a man spares his son who serves him. Then once more you shall see the distinction between the righteous and the wicked, between one who serves God and one who does not serve him. (Mal. 3:16–18)
Here, the context of God’s discrimination is the association of believers to one another. Therefore, choose this day, not just who you will serve, but with whom you will commit your time and attention. At stake is the risk of suffering harm or an opportunity to increase in wisdom.