Did you ever bring a friend home and your mother pull out a childhood photo album? You were probably mortified. Have you ever been asked the question, “What was your most embarrassing moment?” The underlying assumption, of course, is that the other person will share there’s as well. The goal is to break through walls we’ve crafted that help to project the image we want others to see and keep hidden the parts we don’t. To reveal those is to make ourselves vulnerable. There are ways that we act or things that we say that are only done and only said around those closest to us in our lives. Not just anybody gets to see that part of us. After all, authentic relationships involve vulnerability and vulnerability is only possible within the context of trust.
Our habit, then, is to create different levels of trust with others. With those at the outermost circle we reveal only what is necessary and withhold everything else. As you move closer to the center there is that group that gets to know more about you. Maybe they know some of your past and are familiar with your likes and dislikes. As the concentric circles tighten, they get smaller. The list of people that are acquainted with your hopes and dreams and your fears and failures gets pretty short.
So where does God fall in those iterations of circles in your life? How vulnerable are you with Him? In your prayer life how much of yourself do you reveal to God? Here is something that may help. God already knows your most intimate thoughts. He knows what brings you the most joy and what keeps you up at night. He knows all the nuances of all the issues that you keep tightly sealed in the depths of your heart. Psalm 139 starts,
O LORD, you have searched me and known me!
You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar.
You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways.
Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O LORD, you know it altogether.
You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high; I cannot attain it.
God has examined us thoroughly. He recognizes our thoughts and He knows the words that we’re forming before we say them. If the psalm stopped there, it would be frightening, but no, our relationship with Him is the most trustworthy bond of all. Look what He does with that information. According to the psalmist God protects us and provides comfort! Indeed that understanding is too wonderful for me!
Perhaps you’re embarrassed about a physical feature you have or a limitation that you have been assigned. The psalmist writes in verses 15-16,
My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was no one of them.
Our bodies were “intricately woven” by God, which means that there was no detail that was overlooked. You have (or don’t have) exactly what He intended. The days “were formed” for you so the changes that have taken place to your body and the time that it has been allotted was determined before you drew your first breath.
The God that knows our every thought, desire, hope and fear has promised to protect and comfort us for the entirety of the days He has chosen to give us. After that, it only gets better because we join Him in glory! Carry this knowledge with you into your prayer life. There is no one with whom we should be more vulnerable than with our God. Cast all your anxieties on Him because He cares for you. Having poured out your heart to our trustworthy God, you will be able to declare the words that close Psalm 139,
Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts!
And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!