“Failure is not an option” is a phrase popularized by the movie Apollo 13. In the context of the real lunar mission, we are all grateful for the resolve of those who rescued the stranded astronauts. However, that kind of relentless determination is not always appropriate. One of those ways is what’s known as “helicopter parenting.”
According to one psychologist and children’s mental health expert, “Helicopter parents are well-meaning but overly involved, constantly hovering to shield their child from discomfort, failure or risk.” Their micromanaging, focused on preventing negative consequences, stunts a child’s long-term emotional growth. One study identified common traits among people raised by helicopter parents, including low tolerance for stress, difficulty making decisions, fear of failure, people-pleasing tendencies, and trouble solving problems independently.
The good news is that our Father in heaven is not a helicopter parent, even though He is never far away. Acts 17:27 says, “He is actually not far from each one of us,” and Philippians 4:5, “The Lord is at hand.” Even so, He is not a Father who inserts Himself into every situation to ensure you do not have to endure anything that brings you discomfort.
Undoubtedly, that is not a revelation to you, but it’s important to remember that the difficulties you experience have purpose. Joseph was betrayed by his brothers and sold into slavery, through which he grew into a wise and mighty ruler. Job lost all his children and all his wealth in a single day! The Bible outlines his spiritual growth as he endured that dark providence. As a poverty-stricken young widow in a foreign land, Ruth grew in her faith and later recognized how God was using her in a special way. The apostle Peter underwent a massive failure in his repeated denial of knowing Jesus, which assuredly contributed to his ability to lead the missionary effort after Christ’s resurrection.
Who would any of those titans of the faith be if they had not weathered those challenging situations? The “Hall of Faith” in Hebrews 11 credits Abraham for following God’s direction, even though he did not know where it would lead. He was specifically “tested” by God when asked to sacrifice Isaac. Without providing names, it credits the Christians who were mocked, flogged, in chains, stoned, sawn in two and killed with the sword. The most renowned figures in Christian history were not spared tribulation. And some of those situations were of their own making!
God does not keep you from “skinning your knee” because there are important lessons to be learned from falling down and getting back up. Regarding His response to the ongoing sin of His people, it says in Hosea 5:15, “I will return again to My place, until they acknowledge their guilt and seek My face, and in their distress earnestly seek Me.” God declared His intent to distance Himself from them for their own good. And that’s precisely what happened. They said,
“Come, let us return to the LORD; for He has torn us, that He may heal us; He has struck us down, and He will bind us up.” (Hos. 6:1)
The hardships God put them through brought them to their senses. They wanted to return to the Lord. They believed God would heal them.
Even secular doctors recognize the harm of living a life overly insulated from failure. God does not want children who have a low tolerance for stress, difficulty making decisions, fear of failure, people-pleasing tendencies or have trouble solving problems independently. Are you able not only to tolerate adversity, but also to graciously accept it? Are you in the habit of thanking God for creating opportunities for growth? Are you comfortable with the fact that it is to God’s glory and your good that failure is an option?
If needed, repent of your selfish desire for a “helicopter Heavenly Father.” Ask God to help you count it all joy when you meet trials of various kinds, knowing that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.
It is good for me that I was afflicted, that I might learn Your statutes. (Ps. 119:71)