Some people are prone to making decisions for the sake of having it off their plate even when they don’t have important, relevant information. That way of thinking is actually encouraged in workplaces by what’s referred to as a “bias for action.” It is an attitude that expects people to act even when they are unsure about the outcome.
Undoubtedly, in some circumstances doing something is preferable to do nothing. However, that attitude has an alter ego with decidedly less righteous motives. Often delivered with a sly look, it’s captured in the saying, “It’s better to ask for forgiveness than permission.”
One place that way of thinking is prevalent is in early marriages. Young husbands haven’t learned how to balance the priorities of work and marriage with their desire to be with friends (in person or online), repeatedly making short-term decisions at the expense of the long term. With an overreliance on the “asking forgiveness” side of the equation, they diminish trust and undermine the relationship.
It is easy to identify the dangers of those decisions in other people’s lives, but perhaps there is more of that in your daily routine than you realize. Like a young husband, you are presented with decisions every day about how you are going to spend your time. You weigh the inclinations of short-term decisions against the wisdom of more disciplined, spiritually healthy long-term decisions. Will you get up in time to read the Bible and pray or will you hit the snooze bar until you have to rush off to work? Will you lead your family in worship or forego that to get to your preferred evening routine? Will you pause to check on the person God put on your mind or push it off to a “later” that will probably never happen?
Each time you choose the “path of least inconvenience,” you essentially play the “ask forgiveness instead of permission” card. You presume on God’s patience, telling yourself, “God knows I’m busy and tired.” “God knows better than anyone that I have earned a break.” “He already knows I love Him so He understands.” Like the immature husband, this is how we excuse our lack of discipline.
If you’re honest in an assessment of why you aren’t more spiritually disciplined, you’ll find answers like impatience, lack of contentment, selfishness, laziness, self-reliance and others. At the end of a road paved with a pattern of presumed forgiveness is a cavernous pothole of regret. Imagine how much of it half the women had in the Parable of the Ten Virgins when, due to their lack of discipline, the Bridegroom said, “Truly, I say to you, I do not know you.”
Regret, as it turns out, is avoidable. It is connected to mundane daily life decisions which is why Christ said, “Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you” (Mt. 6:33). Looking for biblical permission instead of relying on forgiveness is captured in this instruction. When your decisions are first run through the grid of “would this please God?” the need for forgiveness diminishes dramatically. Put another way, regret has no claim on you when you go through God first, regardless of the outcome.
Take a moment to replace “Hezekiah” in the verses below with your name. Is it accurate? Does it fit? There is no regret associated with a love for God and the subsequent habit of obedience to His commands. There is only blessing.
Thus Hezekiah did throughout all Judah, and he did what was good and right and faithful before the LORD his God. And every work that he undertook in the service of the house of God and in accordance with the law and the commandments, seeking his God, he did with all his heart, and prospered. (2 Chr. 31:20–21)
We cannot expect a life void of conflict or disappointment, but regret can largely be eliminated. It requires a commitment to having an attitude of biblical “permission” instead of acting with presumption on forgiveness. Choose to have a “bias for action for Christ” by seeking the kingdom of God first.
In the path of righteousness is life, and in its pathway there is no death. (Prov. 12:28)