I had a friend that worked at the police department for several years prior to me. When I was first hired, I eagerly pelted him with questions about what to expect. With grace, he endured my enthusiasm but one time, during a pause in the conversation, he said he had something serious to share with me. He described an “us vs. them” phenomenon that I needed to guard against. He explained that eagerness to do the job would quickly result in making friends that felt the same way. He pointed out that the nature of policing is to deal with conflict, and the more conflict you experience, the more you begin to “circle the wagons.” That can lead to creating loyalties among your policing peers at the expense of the public you serve. You may begin to tell yourself, “They’re not a police officer so they don’t understand.” In other words, you can begin to develop an “us vs. them” attitude.
He continued explaining that, over time, the “us vs. them” circle will tighten. You grow to believe that dayshift officers don’t truly understand the challenges of nighttime policing. Before long you believe that even though there are several squads that work at night, only those who work on your team have a clue. Eventually, even your teammates will seem to be out of touch until, finally, the circle reduces to one. “Only I know how bad things are.” “Only I know how to do things right.” “No one else understands.”
My friend’s words were prophetic as I witnessed their fulfillment by many I worked with. Predictably, an attitude of superiority mixed with self-pity would lead to fear and misery. Regrettably, the phenomenon is not unique to police work. It’s common to all people over all time, even to prophets.
[Elijah] said, “I have been very jealous for the LORD, the God of hosts. For the people of Israel have forsaken your covenant, thrown down your altars, and killed your prophets with the sword, and I, even I only, am left, and they seek my life, to take it away.” (1 Kgs. 19:10)
Notice the pattern. Elijah recounted what he accomplished for God, he complained about the current state of his life and concluded by declaring the hopelessness of his situation. He was caught in a classic spiral of self-pity.
Does this pattern sound familiar? Are there signs of it in your life? When you are feeling low, can you point to where you have thought highly of your contributions to your job, marriage or parenting coupled with a discontent for your life situation? Has that driven you to feelings of fear and misery? If it has, then you need to recognize that your “us vs. them” attitude is self-pity in disguise. You have shifted attention from the Almighty God to “almighty self.” In these times contemplate and pray through the following Scripture.
Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need. (Heb. 4:14–16)
In Christ, “us vs. them” is exchanged for “I am with Him.” Elijah was not alone, and neither are you. You need not recount to God (or others) all of your contributions, nor complain about your current situation, nor wallow in despair. We have a Mediator that is able to “sympathize with our weaknesses,” so even in the most difficult times you must be on guard against “us vs. them.” Instead, do the opposite by drawing near to God with confidence, the source of mercy and grace when you need it most.
Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time He may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on Him, because He cares for you. (1 Pet. 5:6–7)