Kids begin to ask why before the age of two and it continues for several wearisome years. I read about a guy that watched his three-year-old nephew engage in a conversation with a man on a bus. The man patiently answered the youngster as he fired off a series of why questions. Finally the man asked, “Why do you ask ‘why’ all the time?” Fittingly the boy answered, “Because I’m three!”
As you get older the frequency of the why’s slow down, but their intensity grows. The longer you experience life, the greater the likelihood that you endure disappointment, heartbreak and loss. Financial struggles, marital difficulties, health conditions, worldly injustices, the loss of a loved one are a few of the crises that induce why cries from the deepest corners of the heart.
We know that questioning God is not, in and of itself, a sin. Consider the following Scriptures:
- Why is light given to him who is in misery, and life to the bitter in soul? (Job 3:20)
- Why, O LORD, do you stand far away? Why do you hide yourself in times of trouble? Ps. 10:1
- Why have you forgotten me? Why do I go mourning because of the oppression of the enemy? Ps. 42:9
- On the cross Jesus, Himself, recited Psalm 22:1, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”
Questioning God without assigning sin to Him is acceptable. In truth, it is a healthy exercise. Recounting your pain to the God that is sovereign over each detail of every circumstance can be an act of humility. We should carry our burdens to God.
Nevertheless, is there reason to expect God to provide an answer to the why’s? You know that God is not compelled to explain Himself to you. Even if He were to give you a comprehensive answer you could not possibly grasp all the implications of His reasoning or of the cascading effects. Yes, it’s good to take our laments to the throne, but is there any aspect of God that is like the patient man on the bus? Does the Bible speak to why these dreadful things happen in a world over which He is in control and to a people He calls His children? Yes. His Word does give us insight.
While God will not give you a one-for-one answer for the experience He assigned to you, He does give you the one answer that you really need to know. And here it is—He custom fit your adversity to you because He determined that it was good for you. Put another way, your hardship is yours because He loves you.
Digest the following three Scriptures. Then reread them. And then do it again.
- It is good for me that I was afflicted, that I might learn your statutes. (Ps. 119:71)
- I know, O LORD, that your rules are righteous, and that in faithfulness you have afflicted me. (Ps. 119:75)
- Behold, it was for my welfare that I had great bitterness; but in love you have delivered my life from the pit of destruction, for you have cast all my sins behind your back. (Is. 38:17)
No counselor in the world can provide the detailed answers you would like for the reason behind your suffering. However, the Wonderful Counselor has told you the most important thing for you to know—that it is for your good. You are not the same person on the other side of grief. Ideally the version of you on the far side of it is a godlier one.
Psalm 119:67 puts it in a way a three-year-old can understand. “Before I was afflicted I went astray, but now I keep your word.”
Pray that God will help you to value your suffering. Learn to thank Him for loving you enough to increase your holiness in this way. Lay your questions at God’s feet without assigning sin to Him and then choose to be content with the answers He provides. An honest evaluation may reveal that the fruit of your affliction is greater obedience to His word.