Can you think of a time when someone came to you with a problem and, as the particulars were revealed, it became evident that you were not the right person to solve it? You experienced that sense of relief when you realized that the problem was not, in fact, your problem. Someone I worked with told me that the problem-solving technique he taught his children was to 1) determine what the real problem is, 2) confirm it was your problem and 3) decide what to do about it. In his description, the first and third steps were expressed matter-of-factly. When citing the second step of the process his face took on a look of disdain as he added derogatory emphasis to the word “your.” He was raising his children to distance themselves as early as possible from anything that might otherwise rise to an unnecessary inconvenience.
The American culture may not have codified it as my co-worker did, but the lesson is still frequently taught and the sentiment widely held. Perhaps you have heard the phrase, “That sounds like a ‘you’ problem.” Even more dismissive is “That’s a y.p. not an m.p.” (meaning “that’s your problem, not my problem.”).
That is not to say that you have a responsibility to say yes to every difficulty that’s brought to your attention. You need not (and cannot) take on every issue that comes your way. There is, however, a sinful version of this that infiltrates the closest of Christian relationships. It takes place when a believer sees another child of God practicing ongoing sin and does nothing about it. Too often the Christian observer turns a blind eye to the situation and discreetly reassures himself “it’s not my problem.”
Jeremiah 44 outlines the judgment prophesied against unfaithful, idol-worshipping Judeans. In this case it was a group of women that took the lead in the sin. Their husbands were aware of it and, even though they were not participants themselves, supported them. Verse 15 says, “Then all the men who knew that their wives had made offerings to other gods…answered Jeremiah, ‘…we will not listen to you.’” The women were making offerings to “the queen of heaven” and their husbands would do nothing to stop the ongoing sin. The following is God’s response through the prophet Jeremiah:
Therefore hear the word of the LORD, all you of Judah who dwell in the land of Egypt: Behold, I have sworn by my great name, says the LORD, that my name shall no more be invoked by the mouth of any man of Judah in all the land of Egypt, saying, ‘As the Lord GOD lives.’ Behold, I am watching over them for disaster and not for good. All the men of Judah who are in the land of Egypt shall be consumed by the sword and by famine, until there is an end of them. And those who escape the sword shall return from the land of Egypt to the land of Judah, few in number; and all the remnant of Judah, who came to the land of Egypt to live, shall know whose word will stand, mine or theirs. This shall be the sign to you, declares the LORD, that I will punish you in this place, in order that you may know that my words will surely stand against you for harm: (Jer. 44:26–29)
The resulting judgment was pronounced specifically against the men. “My name shall no more be invoked by the mouth of any man of Judah.” “All the men of Judah…shall be consumed by the sword and famine.”
Can there be a more frightful pronouncement by Almighty God than, “I am watching over them for disaster and not for good”? And “My words will surely stand against you for harm”? The sentence was delivered against the initial sinners and those that knew about it and failed to righteously intervene.
Loving one another includes having the courage to hold each other accountable in a manner that glorifies God. Colossians 3:16 directs Christians to “admonish one another in all wisdom” and Hebrews 3:13 instructs you to “exhort one another every day, as long as it is called ‘today,’ that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.”
Love for God and your neighbor includes a willingness to admonish and exhort other believers for your mutual benefit and, more importantly, for God’s glory. Pray that God would forgive you for the times you have taken a “that’s a y.p. not an m.p.” attitude toward the ongoing sin of another. Next, ask God to give you the wisdom, the words, the time and the courage to love your neighbor enough to thoughtfully admonish and exhort him. God may use your faithfulness in this way to change lives.